Dear Christy,
My boyfriend just got a freaking horse tattoo on his back. It is so stupid and cheesy. He's obsessed with Charlie from that stupid "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" show, and that's why he got it.
What do I do?
-- Hates Charlie Ask Christy
Christy Fantz has relationship advice and she's not afraid to dish it out. Send your questions to fantz@coloradodaily.com .
Jerk:
(Bite your tongue, Fantz. Bite it. Hard.)
Lovely "Charlie"... The boyfriend. Not you. "Jerk" is your worthy moniker... It is imperative that you dump this broad.
Now.
She's an insult to your brilliance.
"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is a top gem on the tube.
If you desire my genius guidance, retract your statement immediately. Speak up. I have seven pounds of hair encasing each ear.
The tattoo is funny. Sure, I wouldn't do it, but I would totally date your boyfriend -- and be better at it than you -- because of the horse.
Looks like princess is embarrassed.
The only solution is to grasp those preying talons on a tranquilizer gun, gather a couple thousand bucks and drag him to a laser-removal joint.
Note: You'll probably break a nail during the escapade. Abort mission. Plus, "Gossip Girl" is almost on.
Just embrace his ink. He embraces those damn Uggs.
Dear Christy,
My girlfriend freaks out about every single minor detail. Every decision is such a big deal. I love her and want to keep her, but how do I get her to chill out, even about minor things like what she should wear?
-- Stoner
Stoner
Oh, Stoner, you know girls.
I know girls. I know me. Wait. Am I your girlfriend?
No. You're ugly.
However, I sympathize with you and your lover. My BF is driven mad with my frantic antics.
But you know what, boys? Stoner's neurotic GF and I have a message for you: Piss off. (Sorry BF. You can beat me later.)
We're awesome. Is she a Leo? I love her.
Yes, we are high-strung bitches. It's because we are merely passionate about life. Exclamation point.
Yes, both dresses look indistinguishable through your hazy eyes, but just bear with us and give us a feigned opinion.
Sure, that party isn't until next week, but dammit, we need to plan.
Yes, the Rummy card we debate ad nauseam may only lose us the hand and not the entire game, but a lengthy decision is needed.
We know we're irritating, but you're still with us. So quit your bitching.
Crazy pills can help numb her out, but you should take the herbal route and share your bong.
Last resort: Tune her out.
I get that a lot.
Good talk.
Christy Fantz's Fantz in Your Pants runs every Thursday in the Colorado Daily.
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